Beginner looking for help and the real user guide

@Sunusuku You have come to the right place! To answer your main question: if you go to the Aneros website and click-on "Learn" then "Wiki", look for "Wiki Navigation" on the left side. There you will find things like Aneros Basics, Glossary, FAQ, the Super O, and much more. Take your time to explore. But realize that you don't have to read everything right away. You have a great prostate massager in the Helix Syn but I would recommend taking your time with it. When I started with the Helix Classic about 2 years ago, most of my sessions were only about 1 hour or less. So your 4-hour session, in my opinion, can be greatly reduced.

There is no hidden "magic" in learning to use the Aneros devices. Make sure your mechanics are good as far as lube and finding a relaxing place in which to lie down and do your sessions. A good lube should be put at least on the entire massager (except for the perineum tab). Remember that the Aneros massagers are "hands-free" devices and should not be manipulated by hand! Give yourself half-a-dozen sessions or so with the Helix. See if you can build upon the sensations you will feel. At first, you may feel nothing; but be aware that when you prostate is getting "re-wired" you may not feel the direct effect right away. But, in time, you will feel more.

This forum is a place that you can turn-to as often as you need. You will get all the advice and help you need to make great progress! Just take your time, stay focused and begin to feel all the pleasures that are in store for you! Good luck!

@Sunusuku , Welcome to the Aneros Forums, your best source of information for learning about the multiple benefits and joys of using the Aneros prostate massagers.

The "I read somewhere" part leads me to the real reason I made this post. I feel like there's some kind of user manual out there that I am yet to find. ... I hope I can find this hidden user manual so I know what needs to be done, and so I can understand all the hidden lingo.

As @goldenboy noted the Aneros WIKI is the primer for Aneros users. You can think of it as a 'guide' book of sorts. It was written by veteran Aneros users specifically for new prostate massager users, it was not written by the Aneros company.

While the WIKI is definitely a primary information resource, it really only scratches the surface of the volume of information related to prostate play. At the top of this page there is a Sticky thread titled LEARN - Helpful Links for New Members which will help you find additional information resources.

In regard to your specific situation, we have to acknowledge that a certain minor percentage of men don't seem to respond to prostate massage/stimulation. I hope you are not included in that group, the good news is that most men are capable of deriving pleasure from this activity though they may have to go through a learning period and surmounting various obstacles. Please read the thread Identifying Obstacles to Progress to see what may be holding you back.

The term 'rewiring' frequently used on this forum refers to the learning and/or re-learning of new pathways to achieving orgasm. All learning exploits the neuroplasticity of our brain. As you learn new behaviors and attune to previously ignored sensations, you are creating new neural paths in the brain, thus you are literally 'rewiring' your own brain. This process doesn't happen overnight but happens over an indeterminate period of time, thus , you need to have patience and perseverance before noticeable effects are achieved.

The path to prostate based orgasms often requires a paradigm shift in mental processing and attitude, this is also part of the 'rewiring'. To get the maximum value from Aneros prostate massagers (or any prostate massager for that matter) you need to understand it is not a simple 'plug 'n' play' device which will give instant blissful results, nor is it an effective siege tool for bludgeoning your prostate into orgasmic submission. You are developing a new dialogue with your body, trying to seduce your prostate into orgasm, a gentle, loving, patient and relaxed attitude is needed for the seduction to unfold.

Once you are ready to make this paradigm shift you may find the thread Identifying Facilitators to Progress helpful. There are also some other good posts listed in Cherry Picks - The most deliciously informative posts we know!.

I know all this information may seem overwhelming but as you slowly go through it, you will begin to understand why this experience is called a journey, it is much more than about simple physical pleasure, it can be life altering.
Good Vibes to You !

I wouldn't worry too much about not feeling anything - just trust it will all click one day for you, and that you are on your own journey that is just unqiue to you.

I went into this learning trying to figure out how to have multiple orgasms. But once I learned (which felt good and was tonnes of fun when it happened, don't get me wrong), and started practicing lots, and trying new things - I realized after a few months it was just the beginning. It's super simple, here's the step by step guide:

1 - relax
2 - give yourself lots of time, free from distraction (including mental distractions)
3 - focus inward and notice subtle sensations, and notice what feels good, even just laying there.

Obviously that's not very specific, and pretty vague. Intentionally. If you do that, you'll start noticing little things and feelings in your body you didn't notice before. That alone is worth something, multiple orgasm or not. Although I believe that as you start noticing these little things about your body you haven't taken the time to notice before, your body starts to pay attention too. And things that you didn't notice before start to become a new source of pleasure - eventually they'll be enough of the sources of pleasure to start triggering orgasms.

That's my two cents....... and depending on the day of the week or time of the day, my explanation of things is completely different. So that's another tip - don't get too locked into any one step by step guide. Read lots of different sources, descriptions of things, and keep it in the back of your mind. Let the front of your mind be free to pay attention to the present moment.

You are on step #2 ( ), it's a frustrating time, most people give up at this step.

Keep practicing!

Thank you goldenboy, rumel, shockedwaves and The_Bishop for the replies!

I knew from before I got the Aneros that there was quite a learning curve to be able to fully enjoy it, but I just reeaally underestimated it.
I tried to use the Helix Syn at the same time as doing masturbation and hoping I would feel the new sensations. When I tried to "solo" the Aneros
I also had some vibrating rotors on my penis and were massaging my balls at the same time... yeah, that makes no sense.

One day after I saw the replies I got, I tried it again with a new approach. I would listen to some erotic ASMR and use the Aneros, but truly solo this time.
I felt a lot of twitching and wobbling, but that was about it. I tried a few different positions and I want to try a few of them again. The main thing I focused on was the bully breathing, and it was quite meditative focusing
on the breathing! I also tried doing some sphincter exercises in time with them, but I don't understand if I am supposed to push in or push out, or how hard to
squeeze. I don't know about the sphincter exercises though, I don't want to give it up but I felt like I felt the most when I was doing nothing but focusing on my breathing, and apparently that's pretty common. I am about to go into 2nd try, and now mostly just focus on the breathing.

I started to get just slightly frustrated around 40-50m into it, but I still somewhat enjoyed it. I also read that it's important to stop before getting
frustrated, so I'll try that too. Even though I do listen to ASMR, I try to focus on my body rather than the audio itself. I turned it off a couple times, but then I just
started feeling tired rather than horny.

Some small individual replies:
goldenboy - That's good to know! I've started to look in the Wiki pages for more info. I think the "hidden lingo" I was referring to is in there.
Also, I try to keep it to around 1 hour sessions, perhaps more if I were to suddenly feel more towards the end of course. Since I now know to lube
it up all the way up I really gotta buy some more lube, lol.
rumel - Those guides you have written are really inspiring, well done! I like to teach too, maybe I can teach others about this some day. In the Identifying Obstacles to Progress guide, to me it mostly seems pretty obvious, but I realize much of it could be deeply rooted and hard to pinpoint. Although I might have to read up on Erroneous Knowledge.
I will read more of your guides, but right now I try to not take in too much at once.
shockedwaves - Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of what I'm trying to do right now. I wonder if "mental distractions" means I should try without the ASMR, but I will keep trying without some more and see what happens. I try to think that many methods are viable and that it might take a while to discover what works for me, and also to not give something up just because it didn't work once. Your opening words really spoke to me, because it made me think I am not alone in being like this in the beginning.
The_Bishop - That's an interesting image! I guess I got past step #1 pretty fast, then! That gives me more motivation to keep trying and just go with the flow if so many give up at this point.

Thanks again!!

Ok, so this is maybe 6-7 sessions or so later...

I have some questions. I can't say much has happened. I started listening to ASMR, to then looking at images instead of listening to ASMR (which I thought was maybe better because I could focus more), to just watching straight up videos.
1. What is more important, having a meditative state or being as aroused as you can? I do notice sometimes I see something that really turns me on, the sensations in the ass get slightly stronger, but I dunno. Even though I observe what's happening, to stay aroused, I do try to not think of much else except that. Well, except for the abdominal breathing.
Maybe I should do what shockedwaves said, and I just go with no porn at all? Just try to get aroused beforehand.

2. I have no idea if I should do contraptions or not. The only thing I feel having this thing in as a breathe are small, small throbbing or a tingling, bubbly sensation. It never becomes stronger (so far), but whenever I start doing contraptions they just go away. Unless I do reeeaally weak contraptions, but then I might as well not do them at all?
I tried to do really strong quick and really strong drawn out contraptions. Is there some sensation that is supposed to come that I cannot feel yet?
So the main question here would be: should I try to ride that tiny throbbing sensation, or should I be whatever about it and see what else comes up instead?
Only type of contraption that kept the throbbing sensation was when I breathe in and I pucker with my anus a bit, but that's probably because it happens naturally
and I am just relaxed.
I am so torn on the contraptions vs no contraptions, I had sensations where I just lay there and focus on the breathing and after so much time nothing just happens. Some small throbbing come and go, I feel like there's something I should pick up on that I just let go. But I would never know.

3. Third thing that is on my mind... how do you actually focus on the sensations on your prostate? Do you try to imagine images of how it looks inside? Do you try to visualize the thing hitting your prostate? Do you visualize yourself being really tiny, up against the thing? Or is it as simple as just repeating the words: "It's going up against the prostate, oh yes it's going against the prostate! The prostate, the prostate!"
People say to focus the sensations there, but to me that is too vague. I try to send all my attention to that spot all the time, but I just don't know if I'm doing it right.

4. Also, can I practice on this much as I feel like? Only thing I saw when it comes to amount of times is that people say that you should rest between sessions (which is ironic to me, considering how much relaxation is involved). But since nothing happens for me, I have nothing to rest in-between for.
I do try to do one Aneros session, then wait one day without regular masturbation and try again. But I guess there's no reason to just go as much as I feel like, as long as I can be aroused every time?

I have fallen asleep doing this once, already, so the relaxation part is probably good enough. I don't know if my mindset is good enough, but should I really need to lie to myself?
I do somewhat enjoy the sessions, still. Sometimes the random thought of "this sucks" comes up, but it comes up way less than me thinking I just need to relax and feel whatever sensation is sent through me.

Thanks for any input.

1. What is more important, having a meditative state or being as aroused as you can?...Maybe I should do what shockedwaves said, and I just go with no porn at all? Just try to get aroused beforehand.

That's a difficult question to answer, like what's more important food or water? and also what you understand a meditative state and arousal to be (see Are you "aroused"?). They are both important but the important emphasis may vary from one moment in time to another. Both states of being (meditation & arousal) involve the body and the mind interlaced with each other synergistically. The method/techniques you employ to combine those two states of being is as unlimited as your imagination, you will need to keep experimenting to find the best balance for yourself.

2. I have no idea if I should do contraptions or not. ...but then I might as well not do them at all?...Is there some sensation that is supposed to come that I cannot feel yet? ... should I try to ride that tiny throbbing sensation, or should I be whatever about it and see what else comes up instead?

There is no particular sensation that "...is supposed to come...". You need to be adventurous and experimental, the 'should or shouldn't' mindset only boxes you in, limiting your approaches, try things multiple ways and follow where the pleasure leads you. Rather than just trying to rhythmically perform contractions at any particular level of intensity, you may wish to try just holding/sustaining a contraction for as long you can. Eventually muscle fatigue will set in and the muscles will go into involuntary spasms, this is when you need to pay particular attention to the other sensations your body will also produce. Those sensations may arise from unusual, unanticipated areas of your body other than your prostate, these are the precursors to full body orgasms.

Only type of contraption that kept the throbbing sensation was when I breathe in and I pucker with my anus a bit,... I am so torn on the contraptions vs no contraptions,... Some small throbbing come and go, I feel like there's something I should pick up on that I just let go.

Please pay attention to the "...small throbbing..." those are the subtle sensations which are the fundamental building blocks leading to orgasm. They will grow over time especially as you pay more attention to them, they are much more than nothing.

3. Third thing that is on my mind... how do you actually focus on the sensations on your prostate? Do you try to imagine images of how it looks inside? Do you try to visualize the thing hitting your prostate?

Visualization techniques may be effective but they don't have to be too specific, let your imagination construct any image/concept you'd like, it need not be specifically on the prostate but rather on the sensations you are feeling anywhere in the body. For example your "... tingling, bubbly sensation." might be visualized as tiny effervescent colored bubbles emerging from your muscles, flowing into your bloodstream, circulating around your body bringing warmth and energy.

4. Also, can I practice on this much as I feel like? ...But I guess there's no reason to just go as much as I feel like, as long as I can be aroused every time?

As previously noted, being highly aroused is essential to reach orgasmic levels but you can practice use with your Aneros for therapeutic purposes only as well, the choice is up to you. There is no particular rule here but I do believe giving the prostate and anus some rest/recovery/recharging time is a good practice, you get to choose an appropriate time period. You might want to look at the user polls How long is just right to ride your Aneros? & How frequently do you use your massager?

I don't know if my mindset is good enough, but should I really need to lie to myself? Sometimes the random thought of "this sucks" comes up...

NO you do not need to lie to yourself but you do need to provide positive affirmations to displace the random negative mind noise which may arise. When thoughts like "...this sucks..." crop up, IMHO, it is important to immediately counteract that with a potential positive statement to yourself such as 'that was a strange negative thought that just passed through my nice tranquill Anerosession, now I'll get back to focusing on those nice tiny bubble sensations...'. This type of practice will positively reframe your thought processes and move you into a more effective mindset. To reverse those negative thoughts you are hearing in your head, hindering your fun, you have to displace the negative voices and replace them with positive ones. For example, tell yourself phrases like, 'This is normal. This is acceptable. This is something millions of men do each day for their pleasure. I can do this, too.' Remind yourself that your body belongs to you. If your body wasn’t capable of producing pleasure in this way, you couldn’t do it. Replace any thoughts or feelings you have about it being “wrong”, “bad” or “immoral” and shift to an 'it’s all okay' mode.
Good Vibes to You !

Thank you again, Rumel.

I am realizing a lot of the questions I have I need to find within myself, eventually. I had a feeling it was the small throbbing sensations I need to focus on.

I will try the drawn-out contraction and see what happens. I have been doing pretty long contraptions, but not really longer than my own breathing. I hope I can make the muscles go into spasms and see what happens.
As far as the mindset part is concerned, that's pretty much what I'm doing. I'm always counteracting it. For the most part it's just me thinking: "Nah, this is pretty good. Let's see what happens next..."

This is about 4-5 sessions later. I try to use it around 2-3 times a week, but for a while there I didn't feel like using it at all.

So I mentioned I only listened to ASMR first, and then I tried doing nothing but look at pictures. I tried doing both, which worked way better, and I
also straight set up some porn videos, that also worked way better. I am pretty porn damaged, so I gotta do a bit more to get aroused.
I don't think it takes away from the learning process anyway; once I get really immersed and aroused I start closing my eyes a bit and try to
listen to my body.
Two sessions I had the "tingling" got stronger than I never felt before, and I had a little precum for the first times, ever.

There is one thing I don't get. The whole muscle fatigue thing. I am supposed to hold a really long contraption and eventually the muscle will start
going into spasm. How long contraptions does this have to be? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? I swear I tried some reeeaallly long contraptions, nothing ever
starts to happen. I even tried some contraptions where I was squeezing so hard I almost thought I would faint. I'm aware that is probably counter-productive, but I don't know why I shouldn't try things out.

About the contraptions in general, I've never experienced something that has to be done so diligently. It's like 10% power, still tingling, 15%, still good, 20%, NOPE went too far. I don't get hung up when the sensation disappears because I know that's bad (I pretty much have no negative thoughts at all anymore), but that's still pretty much how it feels. It's like someone puts me in a car and expects me to park the car blindfolded. The sensations just come and go, randomly, and I don't feel like I have much control over it.

All I do know is that as long as I just lie still, and breathe, the tingling will always be there. If I do slow, drawn-out contraptions with slow breathing I will usually have the tingling sensations but sometimes not. I also noticed for whatever reason it feels much better to breathe out than to breathe in. This led me to try doing something where I breathe out way slower than I breathe in, and I only apply pressure or let out pressure of the contraption during the breathe out. It seems to work really well, but the sensations don't get stronger, they just kind of stay as they are.

In general, I feel like I could have some kind of breakthrough at any session. Adding porn to it just made it so much better. I am aware that if I were to skip ejaculating, my rewiring process would probably be way smoother. At least I don't finish with normal masturbation and ejaculation every time, just like today I had an Aneros session and I plan to do another tomorrow, before doing regular masturbation. I don't know if it would help if I were to do normal masturbation, and then at the height of pleasure, I stop it all and go practice with Aneros instead.

EDIT (a few hours later): About the "I am aware that if I were to skip ejaculating", I just read that in a different thread that it's just a myth. So never mind about that.

Hey!
I am a newbie at this and maybe I have just been incredibly lucky, I don’t know. But things just started to happen. PLEASE don’t give up, it is well worth persevering. I don’t know what I did right or what I did wrong, but it felt that once I had the smallest breakthrough things began to progress. I don’t think you can make it happen, just relax, breath gently and enjoy any tickles or twitches that come along. As for trying to focus on the prostate or that area, I thought of it like this. You know when you can make yourself pee even when you don’t feel the need to pee? Well I don’t know how it all works but you do eventually pee, I try to focus with that kind of mindset on the prostate, or that general area. Also I have had some of the nicest feelings when I wasn’t really in the mood for a session, so I didn’t begin the session with any expectations whatsoever.
I hope some of what I have said will make sense and not just confused you. Some of the more experienced users have given you much better and clearer guidance than I possibly can, I just thought I might be able to offer encouragement.
Good Luck!

@Harper that's actually really great advice. nobody has been doing this 'for too long' or 'not long enough' to NOT give great advice to the rest of us. I am in a bit of an orgasmic 'slump' and it is so easy to forget that sometimes, it happens and sometimes it doesn't, but if we stop enjoying it, we lose the very reason for going on a ride in the first place.

Your pee analogy is a good one: like when you are super hard in the morning and just have to patiently wait it out and focus until the flow starts, then you can take your focus off and enjoy the relief of a good piss. I have some things to try in my next session, and it is along the lines of your analogy so I hope it creates some good vibes. Many great rides I wish to you, my good man!

Thanks for the tips, Harper and RoJack!

I am not going to give up. I've only been using this thing for a month a half, but my latest sessions has definitely been more
eventful than my first ones. So things are actually happening.
I wanted to describe what I do during my sessions as much as I can just so that if I do something bad someone could call me out on it. I am still
a bit confused about the muscle spasms thing, but I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

To Harper, I have a question: How do you get yourself aroused if you don't feel like it? That seems pretty contradictory to me. Maybe you don't read or watch anything to get yourself aroused?
Even though I do my sessions when I feel like I can get aroused and enjoy a great time, I don't necessarily have much expectations from it. My mindset is pretty much: "Let's enjoy some tingling in my butt, and see what happens". Still, doing it when you don't really feel like it is a great suggestion, and I want to try it.

“To Harper, I have a question: How do you get yourself aroused if you don't feel like it? That seems pretty contradictory to me. Maybe you don't read or watch anything to get yourself aroused?“

Good question. As I say, I haven’t been a user for very long. But during the first few weeks in an attempt to just get comfortable with the idea, I would keep my sessions going as frequently as possible even if I felt like just turning in and going to sleep. Some of the time it did arouse me just thinking about having a session. On those occasions I would find some arousing images of women, not porn, and give my nipples some attention as they are very sensitive. On a few occasions I just lay and read for a while but then a few sensations began to develop and I quickly put the book down. They were just the early flutterings but I enjoyed concentrating on whatever it was that was going on. After a few more sessions I experienced involuntary spasms and limb movements, then last week intense orgasms. Maybe the next few times will yield something different or nothing at all. I am still coming to terms with the fact that it has happened to be honest. I suppose when it comes down to it we are all different and what works for one person might not necessarily work for another. Good luck to you, it sounds as if you are enjoying what has happened so far, that’s positive.

@Sunusuku you had asked: "How do you get yourself aroused if you don't feel like it?" I have found that reading short erotic stories has helped ... a lot.... especially if you are trying to avoid porn. I use this site LushStories.com There are various writers with a huge list of subject matters and very creative fantasy's. I have used it so much that there are certain writers that I look forward to reading anything from them because they write so well. Try it. Enjoy your journey and be patient with yourself.

This would be another 2 sessions after, and one of them I decided to try "do nothing", as in just lay there and breathe. The tingling was there, but that was it. Nothing more.
I thought maybe I wasn't super into it, and my arousal level could perhaps have used some work.
Second session (just had it), I did contraptions instead, and as soon as I started with them after just relaxing for 10 minutes, I noticed a big difference. So that rules out the possibility that the way for me to build sensation is to just "do nothing", but that I need to work on my contraptions. Even though my best sessions were when I was doing contraptions, I thought there might a possibility it would've felt even better if I had done nothing instead.

So I read this page again: http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?...etting_Started and there were some few things that I missed. I can't find my "sweet spot", yet. I don't know how it's supposed to feel, and I tried searching for it. So I just assume the P-tab is at the right spot for now.
BUT! When it comes to contraptions, you're not supposed to ever let go. What I do is I apply strength to the contraption during exhale, and let go during inhale. But before, I would always let go completely before starting another contraption. This time I made sure to never let go and instead let go until I reached a certain level of low-pressure contraption.
I am confident that this way of doing contraptions will let me reach the involuntary muscle spasms. I find it funny that despite reading that whole page and reading so much info about beginners with Aneros, no one can ever tell how long it takes to reach the involuntary spasms. I get it that the muscle gets tired so it starts spasms, but how would I know if that takes 30 minutes, or 10.
Other than trying to do that, this session was just average. Nothing special happening, of course. Sensation doesn't build, tingling doesn't get stronger, it just comes and goes as it wants. I feel like I'm starting to end the sessions earlier and earlier too - no reason to continue if nothing happens.

Something I'm confused about, one tip in that page is to start incorporating rectal contraptions during the normal anal contraptions. But when doing rectal ones (pushing out), you have to completely let go of the anal one first (pushing in). If the whole idea is to get spasms by holding the contraption, how does rectal contraptions help if it lets the muscles rest?

Harper: Sounds good that you can get yourself aroused by doing those things. My nipples aren't sensitive, I find playing with my nipples is like playing with the tip of my nose. Also the movement is super tiring. I try nipple stimulation now and then, but I hope they get better once I get a bit further in the rewiring process.
I am trying to chase the muscle spasms, but I dunno I guess I gotta just hope for it to happen. I had some good sessions from before but I'm started to think it was because I was more aroused than normal and that it wasn't any sort of new discovery. Right now I am just tired to not see any improvements.

ReWire: Thanks for the tip. I know it won't work for me though, as fantasizing alone can barely even get me to finish a regular masturbating session. I am way too porn damaged for that. I am not really trying to avoid porn as watching porn has given me the best sessions so far.

This would be 3 sessions later. Last time I was a bit frustrated, but this time I am more hopeful.

The first of these 3 sessions, I was able to reach the point of holding a super strong contraption, but still feel the throbbing/quivering sensation for the first time ever.
Any other time I tried going full strength I just killed all pleasure, but this time I was able to build the sensation very slowly by increasing the contraction strength gradually enough. The following 2 sessions I was able to do the same thing, and I see it as accomplishing something new. The quivering is there even during inhale, when before I mentioned that I got it pretty much only during exhale. I am starting to feel more pressure on my bladder too, which I have heard from others which is a sign that it is indeed pressed against the prostate.
Something I did that definitely helped also was change the contraction vs breathing rhythm. I used to increase power during exhale and let go during inhale. I think I'll skip explaining why I did that, but it was confusing and it kept making me break the rhythm, so now I increase power during inhale and let go during inhale.

At this point, I think there's a lot going on that I am yet to discover. Even though I can keep the sensations going during full strength and pretty much through the whole thing, it's not like it ever becomes more pleasurable. I would describe it as having a second heartbeat, only it being in the ass instead. Lol.

Also, about the muscle spasms. I think I was already experiencing them. For some reason I thought it would be some kind of mini-seizure where the muscles just start going crazy, but isn't it more about just small twitching motions, one by one? I could be wrong, but I try to have an open mind about it to not have any expectations.

Something I find funny is before I used to close my eyes and focus on my body out of decision, and then realize I was getting less aroused and need to give some attention to the porn again. But this time around I close my eyes involuntary, because I am so relaxed.
It went from "Let's try to dismiss the porn for a bit and listen to my body instead", to "Damn, I closed my eyes again, I shouldn't do that".

Tomorrow I am aiming for another session, and there are some things on my mind that I wanna work towards:
* Try to incorporate rectal contraptions during the strong anal contraptions. I was really confused before what that meant but I think I get it now, how you do it. Just push in and out at the same time, as awkward as it might be.
* Get to a point towards the end where I just remove all attention from any arousal and just focus. I tried this today, but I probably need to do it more.
* Try to find the "sweet spot".

Just tried to have a session, I can barely even concentrate because my mind is full of negative thoughts. I gotta get out of this forum... all these success stories, I just get afraid and jealous reading them, because I don't know if I'll ever be able to experience such a thing. Reading stories from people who have been doing this 6+ years who feel like it's a waste of time doesn't exactly help either. There are guys who can almost get an orgasm by doing kegel exercises alone, yet here I am trying to...

A couple sessions afterwards now. I have started to incorporate rectal contraptions in my anal contraptions now, in a "measured way" (because rectal contraptions involve more muscles and can easily overpower the anal ones), but I can't say much has changed. I still can't find my sweet spot, but why should I be surprised. My body doesn't seem sensitive at all.
Something that I started doing that I guess should think of as progress is that I removed the ASMR. I use nothing but visual stimulation now (porn images), and can still get the same level of arousal. Sometimes I get a hard-on too. This also means I can just close my eyes to get fully immersed with myself, which I do sometimes.

I have gotten very used to the belly breathing, I work my contraptions up slowly and with measure, I can work myself up to very strong contraptions. I feel the "second heartbeat", tingling, throbbing, vibrating, all sorts of things are happening in my ass. Still, I can't find any pleasure.
I am not looking for the Super-O, I am not looking for a Dry-O, I am not looking for P-waves, I just want there to be a pleasurable sensation. Although I guess since P-waves stand for pleasure waves, perhaps that is the first step to enjoying this. I wouldn't know what it's like, and I don't know if they are rare or what.

I feel a sense of tingling and a "second heartbeat" just by inserting the Aneros and doing deep breaths, so I KNOW that the potential is there. My prostate should be possible to stimulate just like for anyone else.
I told this early on in this thread, but when I bought the Helix and saw a review on the site I bought it from that said "I get orgasms from walking around with this thing in my ass". That was pretty much what led me to buying it, but I understand now that the guy is apparently fully rewired and that he mentioned nothing about the need to practice for months upon months in order to get good with it.

I had one session where I just got negative thoughts and quit really early on and went to this forum to vent, but I quickly realized it was temporary emotions and removed the post. Still, some might seen it. I'm past that mindset now, but I still try to avoid this forum as best as I can expect for my own thread. Other beginners that have success just annoys me, which I hate saying because it's kind of arrogant. I just feel like they magically put it in and find paradise, while I have to read, analyze, overthink stuff, get as relaxed as possible, and do all those things.
By the way, should I perhaps take this to the Blog section of the Aneros website? I don't even know if someone is reading in this thread. I can understand there might not be much to reply to at times, but I know myself I would love to follow the progress of someone who's at the same level. I have yet to find some kind of journal for someone without seeing words such as Dry-O or P-waves though, so I don't know if they're out there.

My body doesn't seem sensitive at all. ...I feel the "second heartbeat", tingling, throbbing, vibrating, all sorts of things are happening in my ass. Still, I can't find any pleasure.

Do you see the contradiction in your own statements here?

I wouldn't know what it's like, and I don't know if they are rare or what.

Is the ..."second heartbeat"... distracting, unpleasant, irritating or an interestingly curious phenomenon? Are the "tingling, throbbing, vibrating" sensations painful, discomforting, irksome, bothering feelings to be ignored ? Are "...all sorts of things are happening in my ass." completely unpleasant to you?

...I still try to avoid this forum as best as I can expect for my own thread. Other beginners that have success just annoys me, which I hate saying because it's kind of arrogant. I just feel like they magically put it in and find paradise, while I have to read, analyze, overthink stuff, get as relaxed as possible, and do all those things.

Jealousy and/or envy of other men's rate of progress is just wasted energy, this is your own unique journey of learning. You are not in competition with anyone, not even yourself, to achieve any particular level of pleasure, this is a paradigm shift in thinking you have yet to make and until you do so I suspect you will continue to experience frustration and very limited progress.

By the way, should I perhaps take this to the Blog section of the Aneros website? I don't even know if someone is reading in this thread.

That option is available to you and I would encourage you to do so for your own benefit. As of 2/20/2018 there were 2,424 views of this thread, so you can see some users have been reading/following your thread.

@Sunusuku, you've been on this journey for only a couple of months and I intuit that you are still holding expectations for your Aneros device to generate pleasure for you. This is a fatal misconception, it is your own body which generates pleasure and it is your own mind (via the brain) which interprets bodily sensations as pleasurable or not. Your Aneros device or any other device does not affect that fundamental dynamic principle. If you continue to dismiss "...all sorts of things are happening in..." your ass you will perpetuate your current situation. There needs to occur a paradigm shift in thinking, a surrender of egotistical control to your body's deeper understanding and perception of the sensual world in which you exist for the full flowering of pleasure to emerge. This shift in thinking may be too extreme for some male egos to accept but for those who can and do make the shift the pleasurable rewards can be immense.

I recommend you read @rook 's thread Whole Body/Whole Mind - the mental side & @SteelColdiron 's thread Aneros: The Essential Mind State for a little insight. It might also help you to read @neros 's post The truth behind how to "rewire".
Good Vibes to You !

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I just had a session before I wrote these replies, but I couldn't focus at all. All the new stuff I read in the replies, and in the articles, just spiraled around in my brain. Also, I got hungry during it. That didn't help either, lol...

Do you see the contradiction in your own statements here?

Is the ..."second heartbeat"... distracting, unpleasant, irritating or an interestingly curious phenomenon...

No... it is not all that bad. It's certainly not unpleasant. I would compare it to scratching where it's itching, maybe taking a piss. It feels good in that way.
I am happy that I have discovered it, and that I am getting better and more efficient at getting to the same "level".
Is it really that bad to want progress, and experience new things? I am getting to the point where I did everything in the "Getting Started" part of the WIKI, and pretty much just want to discover P-waves or the "warmth" people are talking about, worried that I can't improve.

Jealousy and/or envy of other men's rate of progress...

I know. I know all that. But I can't control my feelings. I tried so many ways to orgasm (nipples, glans, frenulum, anally, penile orgasm without ejaculation, etc), and was successful with none of them. Add that up with not having sex for 13 years.
Traditional ejaculation is all I have. I have become more and more bitter about my lack of sex life and gotten very jealous.
How can I not see Aneros as another thing I will fail at? When I read posts from people having done Aneros for many years and it did nothing for them, I just see myself in that post.
Of course, these days I am trying to think different. I started meditating some, too. But I can't control how I feel. I can't be like "My life is amazing, and I have everything I ever wished for", because it's totally untrue.

@Sunusuku, you've been on this journey for only a couple of months and I intuit that you are still holding expectations for your Aneros device to generate pleasure for you...

I am not dismissing anything. I am just here to honestly tell how I perceive my sessions. While in a session, I try to enjoy it to the fullest I can, without worrying about other things or how things will pan out. I know that the things that are happening I have to discover within myself whenever I listen or focus hard enough. I keep telling myself that things feel good and that I can't wait to see what happens next.
Sometimes I moan a bit too, because I am trying to enjoy it. If I were to dismiss it completely I don't think I would get to the point where I get a little pre-cum from it.
I'm not sure I fully understand, it is the Aneros that helps us get rewired, be able to feel P-waves and the Super-O and all that? Why are we even using it otherwise. Like, I know you have to be aligned both with mind and body, and that Aneros is just a "tool" to help you achieve the sensations. I read that in an other thread.
It's not like I put the thing in and just lie there, waiting for magic to happen. I am doing (or so I thought) the best I can in order to get any progress...

With the sentence: "A surrender of egotistical control to your body's deeper understanding and perception of the sensual world in which you exist for the full flowering of pleasure to emerge" Sorry, I wish I could understand this, but I don't. I try my best to discover new sensations that I wasn't already aware of, how is that "egotistical control" of anything? Or I dunno, I guess I haven't really gotten anywhere.
Just because I don't lie to myself and say "These throbbing sensations in my ass is the most amazing thing ever, I might as well never jerk off anymore!" does that mean I am hindering myself for progress?

I recommend you read...

Thanks for the tips. I read all of them thoroughly, and will probably come back and read them again. It was a mix of stuff I didn't quite understand, mixed with stuff I already knew.
The last one that neros wrote was a big eye opener for me though, but still made me feel worse. There was this one exercise where you're supposed to think about the most arousing thing and then listen to everything that happens in your lower body.
You were supposed to listen to everything that happens as you get an erection, and I can't even do that by just fantasizing. Yet again did a newbie exercise not work out for me and made me feel worse.
The part that was an eye opener was 1, that he explained how he made new pleasurable sensations into fantasies, kind of like how he would feel a wave of pleasure then think that someone was rubbing the area it came from, kind of like that. Thing nr 2 was that when you get physical reaction off of a fantasy, you take your focus off of it immediately. I really think the porn is hindering me, altho in the WIKI it says visual stimulation is fine to use. I just have to realize when the pictures give me sensations, and learn to go back and forth between what I feel and the visual stimulations more efficiently.

Also, thanks on letting me know about the view count. Once I got some more stuff to report I will definitely make it into a blog.

Thanks for making this threads and keeping it updated dude. I totally feel you...

I am glad to get your input, k.p. If I never saw input from others who have been doing this for years with very mediocre result, I wouldn't be so eager for progress.
I am sad to see that you're pretty much in my position despite having used it for much longer, but it seems like you already figured out why. As it seems I also need to work on my mindsets HARD.

Yes, it's interesting that any story that has to do with a spectacular orgasm never mentions what they did to arouse themselves. This led me to the conclusion pretty fast that most guys arouse themselves with erotic fantasies during their sessions.
I think the porn might be a pretty bad thing for Aneros. Whenever we look at it or listen to it we lose focus from our bodies. But yeah, I feel the same way: if I don't use porn alongside, I'll just feel tired and bored.

I will absolutely keep doing this journal, probably as a blog on the site. I would also love to get your input. What you're describing sounds great, I hope I can reach it soon. Or, scratch that, I hope I will reach it eventually. As it seems wanting progress is bad and I need to appreciate what is happening during my sessions right now. I have to pretend that the throbbing and vibrating sensations are the best ever.

I am 31. It would be cool to see your blog about this too, I would definitely follow it!

I am glad to get your input, k.p. If I never saw input from others who have been doing this for years with very mediocre result, I wouldn't be so eager for progress.
I am sad to see that you're pretty much in my position despite having used it for much longer, but it seems like you already figured out why. As it seems I also need to work on my mindsets HARD.

Yes, it's interesting that any story that has to do with a spectacular orgasm never mentions what they did to arouse themselves. This led me to the conclusion pretty fast that most guys arouse themselves with erotic fantasies during their sessions.
I think the porn might be a pretty bad thing for Aneros. Whenever we look at it or listen to it we lose focus from our bodies. But yeah, I feel the same way: if I don't use porn alongside, I'll just feel tired and bored.

I will absolutely keep doing this journal, probably as a blog on the site. I would also love to get your input. What you're describing sounds great, I hope I can reach it soon. Or, scratch that, I hope I will reach it eventually. As it seems wanting progress is bad and I need to appreciate what is happening during my sessions right now. I have to pretend that the throbbing and vibrating sensations are the best ever.

I am 31. It would be cool to see your blog about this too, I would definitely follow it!

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Very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I am also a hentai guy, ha, even more-so lately, with only maybe 10-20% of porn viewing being standard porn.

It's a good theory, that their age is why they're not likely to be hooked to porn, but I still can't see why they wouldn't have been able to get hooked on it when they were around 30-40. Maybe because many of them are married, I dunno.

Now let me just elaborate a bit on my journey and why it took a turn for the worse lately...

Oh... it is interesting to know that you could improve regular masturbation using similar techniques, but it has also made me wary to not try those things out. I am still interested in a lot of things regarding penile masturbation, mainly to be able to orgasm without ejaculation, but I'm mainly pushing that aside until I feel like I am past "beginner stage" with Aneros. I use masturbators myself (from Japan, of course hehe), but I certainly believe you can achieve way better masturbation than using those.
I have a couple times used a different prostate massager during penile masturbation, but I'm very much aware that it's bad and I try to do so sparingly.

So here I am having recognized the errors of my ways and come up with a new approach...

I definitely think it's good that you try different things and re-think your approach. I don't know if trying to get rid of traditional masturbation is the way to go. I guess it can't hurt, just as long as it doesn't make you frustrated during sessions. I can see things going better because you're using all the arousal on the sessions, but I can also see there being expectations because the sessions would be all you have. Maybe it could be harder to think "It's OK if this doesn't turn out great, because I'll just get rid of my stress later", and easier to think "I stopped wanking off now, so things better start happen". That's what I'd assume, from my limited experience.
Unless you masturbate everyday, and you can at least have a few sessions where you don't have to finish with a wank, I guess you could notice the difference?
But of course it'd be beneficial to try this during a longer period too, just to try it and see if it works.

It's hard to keep a breathing regime for the entire session at some point I just want to breath normally again...

Yes! I get this too. I'd follow a breathing pattern, but find myself taking regular breaths in-between from fatigue. I do still feel the good feelings when doing this personally, so I don't think it's a big deal. I have yet to really experiment with fast breathing and the sobbing-like breathing (breath of fire and valley breathing as is explained here: http://wiki.malegspot.com/index.php?title=Getting_Started ), so I wish I knew more about this. I think my breathing rhythm is more like 3-4s in and 4-5s out.

I constantly get a boner whenever something starts to feel a little better..

Hmm. Maybe this is why I see people talking about chastity cages and stuff like that, because it gets really hard to resist touching your penis in great sessions.
I have no idea what you would do here, but I assume it's perfectly fine to just enjoy it? We do know we're not supposed to touch it, but trying to ignore
​​​​​​​good feelings in our penises sounds like a stretch.

Whenever a truly new sensation comes up...

I will probably have problems with this too. Maybe meditation helps. And getting those sensations more often would also normalize it more and make you think less about it.
But then, how do people not get super excited for the so called Super-O? Perhaps it's ok to be like that, as long as you don't think that you messed up. Just be completely fine with how you reacted mentally.

There is also an aneros reaction I can't really figure it if it's something I should be looking...

That totally sounds like what I'm feeling, and what Rumel told me to focus on. Eventually I would only feel it when I stopped breathing, and a bit during exhale. It always felt like those sensations came and went randomly, but eventually I could feel them more consistently. I usually get it during inhale now, too, and during strong contraptions.
There's no guarantee at all that it's the same sensation, though. I think the next step is to interpret that sensation into a fantasy. That fantasy would in turn give us more sensation, and then we turn that into a fantasy.
Only thing is, all those things that happening is in your ass... how many times are you going to imagine someone putting a finger up your ass. Lol. I assume the fantasy doesn't have make sense though, I guess one type of pleasure could be someone giving you a BJ, while another could be you fucking someone. I dunno.

I don't know what you should do when it comes to pause day and what-not, but sometimes I think back on what Harper said about him having the best sessions when he didn't really feel like it. Maybe it won't work for us, maybe it will.

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You know what, I think I will try that. I think I will try to refrain from traditional masturbation more and try to have streaks of just doing Aneros play. Some people say that you should properly rest between them, but I never saw why you couldn't have an Aneros session each day? With traditional masturbation, you'll be tired from producing sperm and all that, but that's that. Maybe it's more if you have super intense sessions, that the prostate needs some heal time, or something. Anyway, I definitely want to try daily sessions.

I own a Puni Ana DX Hard, and I was looking into getting an spdx actually... but already I've had moments where I've decided to not use them and instead go for 1. vibrating rotors and 2. frelunum rubbing and sometimes both at the same time. I have been looking to get this type of ejaculation in this article: https://www.orgasmicguy.com/most-int...-the-frenulum/ (namely the "Your ejaculate won’t squirt like it usually does when you come, it will gush like a water fall" part) and I haven't been able to achieve it, but instead I got a traditional one that felt way stronger.
It's interesting to hear you get prostate sensations during it, I had no idea about that. But then again my Aneros journey hasn't led to me feeling anything in terms of Aneros-less pleasure (or should I say, be able to pick up on/recognize).

Can't say I have experienced that "warmth cloud in the torso" thing, but it makes sense. As you start noticing sensation and be able to interpret new feelings I guess warmth can be felt all over. It seems you already know that you are having P-waves. You seem to be on a good state right now, and I hope it continues.
I feel like I've been unnecessarily negative in a few of my posts lately, I've kind of taken a different approach and starting seeing this as a unique opportunity rather than seeing it as something I must conquer and within a certain time frame.
Sometimes when you want to fap, but you're still waiting for a good opportunity to do it or maybe your privacy isn't the best, I find myself looking at porn just for the sake of it, or because I can't wait. That's also why I can't ever see this as a waste of time, because it's like I'm doing the same thing as before but this time learning more about myself at the same time. Although, of course, I don't know how much porn will be involved with this in the future...

I like what you said about talking to your prostate, that's funny. But yeah, I totally see your predicament with that. I hope to be able to keep it cool when discovering new things, being more like "aha, I see.." and again "aha, I see, ok..".

Sorry my response wasn't more in-depth, but I've read what you said a couple times and trying to remember it all just for reference. Thanks again k.p. I think my next post will be in blog form.

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It's great to see you're getting a lot of good advice and working pretty diligently on this.

Here's the same thing that's written in every guide and said by everyone, from a slightly different angle: It's easy to get really caught up in details and trying to find the magic formula that works, but I think it's important to zoom out and recognize that basically you're just playing with your butt. The Aneros isn't magic, your prostate isn't magic, contracting your muscles isn't magic. It's possible to have crazy sensations, but that's really a side effect that may happen on some random day when the stars align rather than the focus of every session. Stressing out over the details is completely counter to basic concept of what you're taking on here which is play.

Are you in a good mood and feeling a little horny? Cool, it might be fun to spread out and play with your butt. Chill out, breathe a bunch and relax all your muscles. Breathing and relaxing alone might give you some good feelings, almost like a lightheaded buzz or a pleasant lightness in your body (I'm not talking about hyperventilating, just relaxing into your breath). Feeling relaxed, playful and horny? Cool, it might be fun to start massaging or teasing your backside. If lube feels good, use that. If jiggling your cheeks or rubbing your nipples feels good, do that. If the Aneros head feels good, use that. If your finger feels great, go for it! Keep breathing, relaxing muscles deepening your relaxation. Keep feeding your horniness through some little fantasies, media, or just touching erotic places and enjoying the sensation. The basic idea is relaxation gets deeper and deeper, while horniness builds up or stays high--don't try to tense or force your way into pleasure. When you're feeling hot and wet and begging for that little plastic nuzzle inside, slip the Aneros in. Don't start contracting like you're trying to juice a lemon--just stay relaxed, keep feeding your horniness and play with whatever physical actions feed into those two points. Don't try to find your perfect contraction routine from reading some forum posts--just do what feels good and when a moan and a smile creep out bask in the pleasure. Enjoy whatever comes your way. Are you feeling bored? Less horny? Tensing up? Why not call it a day and go eat an apple? If it stops being fun, change it up or do something else.

It's not something you reach out for and take. You're not closing your eyes and beating a drum harder and harder, you're closing your eyes and relaxing into the beat so that the drum seems louder and louder until your body is vibrating with its beat.

If you have the funds and time to spare, I'd recommend buying and reading "The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure" by Charlie Glickman. It has some excellent passages that look at things like rewiring, new stimulus and the transition from neutral stimulus to pleasure source, combining prostate play with penis play, relaxation and mindset and much more. There are a lot of commonalities with the advice given here, but the presentation and tone might be just the thing you need.

Keep it light, have fun and feel good!

Hey, I'm back! I moved from one apartment to the next and also had a trip to a different country!
I also finally started a blog and it is right here: https://community.aneros.com/blogs/the-incompetent-one/
I am going to reply to you guys but if you reply back, will you please do that on the blog? ;D

@k.p. I couldn't really keep up the nofap thing, I got so horny during Aneros sessions that I got frustrated and quit. I also kinda wrote about some progress in the blog post.
I also started doing the frenulum thing way more and it's becoming amazing for sure. I know what you say now about the power of it!
About the spdx, I'm not sure if I have any interest in it anymore, as the last times I tried using the puni ana again it was really lame.
Using the Aneros while playing DoaX3 sounds amazing! They're just too hot.
Keep it up!

@RidingWaves11 Thanks for your input! You have some really great tips. Not making it into a session but just playing around is something I should definitely do.
I'm not sure if it will work out. I have tried a lot of anal stimulation in the latest years, and just sliding something in and out doesn't really do much. It was quite some time since I tried it, though. I really should spice it up.
I'm not really "stressing out over details" that much, it's just that I wanna make sure that I do this as well as I can, and also retell my experiences at the same time.
I appreciate the tip about the book too - I'll keep it in mind!