beginner having trouble relaxing

I don't have the tremor you describe, @B_Wayne and I don't really know what it's like for you. All I can say is give the helix more time. Notice and appreciate any pleasure your body gives you.

My mind is easy to frustrate when I'm riding a aneros device. It's always looking for a distraction. If it's not a tremor like yours, then it's a pull to jerk off or something uncomfortable in the room. My point is it's always something for all of us. That's how our minds work. The trick is to learn how to find a way around this.

Meditation has helped me a lot to cut through my mental distractions when riding aneros and has had many other important benefits. I recommend it.

What you describe is the more you relax, the more your arm tremors. So you know you're going to tremor when you're relaxed. Perhaps you could accept it as a normal (for you) part of relaxation rather than let your mind use it as a frustrating distraction.

Let me know if this helps you or not.

Do you have tremors when you sleep? If not, try napping instead; it sometimes works best when the mind is at rest.

I agree with @Badger about napping and riding. That's how I experienced my first mini orgasm!

You asked about using other devices. My experience with the Tempo and peridise is that they work best with relaxation. Of course this is after some level of rewiring. I love my dildo for a number of reasons. It's a different experience from aneros, more anal and relaxing once it's in. I've heard good things about the Pure Wand but don't have one yet.

@euphemistic - Thanks for the words of encouragement. I haven't given up on the Helix. In fact, I had a Fantastic! session yesterday (at least by my newb standards). Something is definitely waking up in my pelvic region. But I do think I need to take a slightly different tack from what I'm reading in this forum. I'm trying to use the perspective that this arm tremor is just an involuntary contraction, which is what we're looking for, right? Once I get my sphincter/PC muscles doing their involuntary contractions, which I can pretty much do at will now, this arm tremor really just gets lost in the background of the whole-body contractions. I don't even notice it.

Good things about the Pure Wand? Oh yes, I've heard those things too. The number of OMG! reviews for that toy has me very interested. And I agree that anal stimulation, at least for me, is more relaxing than arousing. But who said that all pleasure has to be arousing? For dildo use, would you recommend "training" myself gradually with graduated butt plugs, or just jump right in with a smaller dildo and move up when I'm wanting more girth? If money was no option, I'd get everything. The plugs interest me because they cost a lot less for a set than for 1 decent dildo, and at the end of training, I'd have some plugs which I could use instead of a too-small dildo, which I probably wouldn't use. What do you think?

Finally, I want to thank you. Really. I've been doing a lot of reading on this site in my lead-up to jumping in, and it seems that you are in every thread giving advice, encouragement, and the benefit of your experience and perspective. So, on behalf of all the lurkers, thank you so much for sharing. I've really appreciated it.

@Badger - I definitely have tremors when I'm near sleep, and it interferes with me getting to sleep. The difficulty I'm finding is that with the Helix, I'm trying to relax while maintaining body-awareness, while when I'm falling asleep, I'm trying to relax while losing body-awareness. I'll try your Napping-while-riding advice. Thanks for the help.

My leg twitches sometimes. I am fairly new at this also (after a long pause).

My leg twiching is probably nothing compared with your arm but I'll share how I deal with it anyways. In the beginning I tried to make it stop but that was fairly unsuccessful. Now I ignore it and it stops after a while or at least it does not bother me as i forget about it.

And they key in relaxing is not so much your body as in your butt. At first i read about the key is to be relaxed, and I relaxed, my body might be all limp but that did not help. Now if I make sure the anal muscles are super relaxed then thing kick off quite quickly. Then my arms can be tense at times, same thing for my back, stomach and legs without much negative impact on the session.

Good luck,
G

@B_Wayne --- You are on the Aneros path! Keep doing what you're doing, and be adventurous, try different things, but be gentle with yourself! I like dildos too, just don't bruise yourself! That's what I like about Aneros...very little chance of bruising if you follow the directions! I haven't used a dildo in many years because I get all the great feelings and orgasms I could EVER want from Aneros!!!

TG

Good for you, @B_Wayne! I read your blog. You figured out how to use the temors to your advantage or at least, not get in the way. I like your rolling sphincter to PC contractions technique. That took me lots of practice to master.

You seem to be one of the "different" guys who gets involuntaries from voluntary contractions. There are lots of us "different" guys here 🙂 We have to think outside the box, adapt, pay attention to our experiences and intuition, listen to all the different voices here sharing our experiences. Then trust our instincts.

Thanks for your commentary about me. I really care about men. If I think my experience or thinking can possibly help someone, I contribute. I'm a relative newbie too at 2 years practice and have gotten so much from the men here, I'd like to give a little back iifif possible.

I think the whole point of relaxing to the point of being in a trance
like state is just to help you to bring your awareness to your prostate
etc, and perhaps to make you not "over work" your aneros. You don't have to be
in a trance to have a great time with your toy or to be aware of whats
going on down there.

You could try the mindfulness thing of bringing
your attention to other parts of your body while you're doing other day
to day stuff as a practice. Like how your toes feel when you're out
walking or what a breeze feels like against your skin.

So many people talk of sleeping with a device in, does nobody remember the big thread on this subject? The conclusion was that this is not a good idea and could even hamper your rewiring in doing so. It's too risky. Can anyone find the thread?

Thanks for the responses and feedback. I like the idea about "relaxing in the butt". The 2 times I've tried the Helix after a long, hot, "relaxing" bath were both underwhelming. I think I set myself up for Expectation Failure. On the other hand, things seemed to work pretty well when I forgot about whole-body relaxation and just got my sphincters loose and hungry beforehand with some preliminary play with a lubed finger.

I found 3 big threads on sleeping with the device. Frankly, I'd be hesitant to sleep through the night; I'd be too nervous, wondering "Did I use enough lube?" But I think I could handle a 1-2 hour nap, just to experiment.

Finally, @ Theme_Gasm had me going! "You are on the Aneros patg!" I must have spent 15 minutes in the WIKI glossary, Google, the Urban Dictionary . . . but nothing! "patg"? What the hell is "patg"? I was thinking, "Boy, am I a newb! There's so much I don't know." When I finally figured it out, I had a good laugh at my expense. Laughing at yourself is very healthy medicine!

I give up. What is the aneros patg?

Yea...I just corrected that error..."Aneros Path" are the correct words! I'm such a goof!

Errors in my typing on an iPad seem to occur when I'm having a session while getting p-waves and orgasms!

A sudden rush of pleasure will knock my brain all wonky, and I miss a letter or two! It's just the nature of the experience for me!

I'm glad your in the Wiki...it's great reading!

BTW...My first Super O occurred after waking from a short nap...I think I was so relaxed that when my subconscious and my conscious mind were at apogee I was primed for a Super O, because it hit like a lighting bolt, and I was riding my Progasm during the nap! While I don't ride my aneros while sleeping now, it was quite amazing when that orgasm happened!

TG