A few questions before I start

Posted by: @needledick

Does the aneros give an ability like this where there is no fear of ejaculation during orgasm?

While the Aneros learning journey can teach you an alternative path to orgasm, it does not guarantee that you will not have an ejaculatory experience. Individuals respond to prostate stimulation differently. Most men can learn to enjoy these prostate orgasms without experiencing ejaculation as long as they don't focus on any penile stimulation, however, some individuals will still experience ejaculations even without penile involvement.

In your case, having (penis in vagina) sex with your wife is likely to complicate the situation. Training with Aneros can teach you the value of relaxing the pelvic floor muscles to reduce the onset of the PONR thus lessening the likelihood of triggering an ejaculation during sex. However, there can be no assurances that ejaculations will not occur since you are still simultaneously stimulating your penis. Some men have reported prolonging their sexual couplings and have developed their ability to avoid the ejaculatory response while still enjoying orgasmic sensations, perhaps you will be one of those fortunate men.

Posted by: @needledick

Also my wife isn't multiorgasmic at all so any tips on helping a woman unlock the ability as well would be much appreciated.

You might want to get her the book For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality by Dr. Lonnie Barbach.

Good Vibes to You!

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I am confused by your questions because on the one hand you say you both want to avoid orgasm hangovers, but on the other hand you say you both want to try and have multiple orgasms. You as a man can perhaps avoid orgasm hangovers by learning how to have non-ejaculatory orgasms, like the ones that men on this forum learn to have.

For your partner, I don’t know what the answer is because I have never heard of female orgasm hangovers.  From what I understand, men who have orgasm hangovers are affected by the refractory period, which doesn’t exist for women.  I am not denying that your wife has orgasm hangovers, rather it just seems like a contradiction to her wanting to pursue multiple orgasms.  If you clear that up, i probably have ideas, and in the meantime rumel’s book recommendation is intriguing! 

As Rumel implies, we are all different, so what works for me might not work for you.  I personally have a very active sex life and though it is filled with dry orgasms, I ejaculate only one in every three acts (more or less).  Sex without ejaculation is something I practiced before I started doing prostate play, but now I do it because I like the tension it builds up. I won’t go into details but if you read about semen retention on this form you’ll learn that it helps a lot of us men with arousal.  I do not have orgasm hangovers, nor do I feel energized by not ejaculating, so the reason why I don’t ejaculate is purely for future arousal and pleasure. 

I would recommend that you learn how to use your toy all alone, without your partner, for a few months. One purpose of these toys is to learn how to amplify micro sensations, and turn what feels like a gentle touch into overwhelming sensations through focus and letting go. All of this takes a sort of meditative concentration that is very difficult to achieve if you are with another person, at least in the beginning.

As you learn how to focus on micro sensations there is a chance that you will become more open to a different way of being intimate with your partner. When you said that Karezza was too slow, maybe it is too slow for you in the state of mind you are in now. But as you move forward on your journey you will discover the beauty of something as simple as a light caress.  You will learn that it is not the force or speed with which you are caressed, rather it is the state of mind you’re in to receive those caresses.   And so perhaps slow sex will become something you learn to love.

I believe I have an active sex life,although abstaining from ejaculation isn’t something I’m interested in. For me,there isn’t anything better than climaxing with my wife. I don’t think the journey has a large effect on ejaculation. Maybe,with kegels,and more experience of focus with your pelvic floor may change things for some people. I myself don’t suffer from premature ejaculation,so I’ve not noticed any difference. I imagine some guys could benefit from it.But I don’t see how it would delay ejaculation for most people,especially with a toy in,it should definitely make ejaculation better though!!! Personally I find A-Less and intercourse a tough match,hard to focus on contraction,gland and ‘not touching my penis’ when my wife’s vagina is sucking the soul out of me lol.
As for your wife,her environment,arousal,relaxation  are the keys to multiple orgasms. Have you tried a magic wand? Mutual masturbation?

Thanks for the feedback guys. 

I get why solo sessions are necessary to learn, that makes sense. Would you guys say that as one learns to enjoy more subtle sensations that fast or frenzied sex becomes sort of "obsolete"? Or does it just depend on what you're in the mood for? 

@needledick It depends on what you (both) are in the mood for, but who know where your journey will take you. My partner and I relish in being able to have intamacy that ranges from light as a feather (and involving actual feathers sometimes) to very hard, often oscillating from one to the other in the same encounter.  Aneros definitely helps learning how to enjoy the slower end of sexual intimacy.