2 years and frustrated

Des

Stop trying so hard. You are working at it and heading to a super O should not be work.

Try more of the relaxation techniques (warm bath, breathing, aromatherapy, etc.) and drop your expectations. Good feelings with Aneros I have found are like waiting for Santa - you have to go to bed and close your eyes for anything good to happen.

Just my 2 cents.

Turn off the porn, lie on a bed in a darkened room, close your eyes, relax, and focus inwards. If you can't get in touch with arousal in this state, then I think that's what you need to work on. The stimulation from the aneros itself has to be the arousal spike. It seems impossible, but that's the groove you need to get into.

It could be that you know certain tricks and techniques that can feel good, but you're missing a bigger picture. If out of frustration, you keep going back to these same old techniques again and again, you might be preventing yourself from discovering new things. Which is why I think it's important to make a concious effort to forget everything you've ever learned about the aneros experience, and start again from scratch every few sessions, and especially when you've stopped making any progress.

One of my longest no-progress plateaus was when I was convinced I should be expecting pleasure from one particular region. I was locked into that expectation, and my focus was always pointed at that spot. Until by chance, another part of my anatomy started glowing and producing its own deeper flavour of pleasure. A type of pleasure I could never have imagined until I experienced it.
To add more detail to that... I was locked in to building pleasure where I thought the surface of my prostate was, and this did produce nice feelings, but it was very limited. The new area that lit up, was much higher up, about an inch or two below my navel and deeper-in. It was a place I never thought to look, and wasn't ever listening for.

So my advice is to stop holding on to what you have now, because what you have now doesn't work. Open yourself to other signals and let the aneros teach you. Sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards.

Also try to reach an arrangement with yourself that you don't need "completion" from the aneros. If what you want from the aneros is an ejaculation, or some kind of release, then you're going to frustrate yourself and screw up your session by trying to steer the experience in that direction.
Agree that you will release, but later. Once you take that pressure and expectation off the aneros, it's a lot easier to go with the flow and let the session have its own shape.

Thanks.
Honestly, if i knew it had to be so complicated i probably din't purchase any device but attend a tantra course instead... i understand it may take time and exercise to disconnect from usual dynamics and discover something different, but in this specific case it's like i wasted money into something that promises big things i could probably get without, just by meditation and knowledge (you get something physical for physical purposes then you discover it's all a mind matter...).
I'll keep trying anyway, following your advices, thanks alot.

The anti-depressants and your depression could well have some lingering effects.

Your mental state is very important for full body/prostate orgasms. We can always force our erections and ejaculations BUT we can't force our super orgasms.

I'm going to write a post on this shortly but for now just realise that any kind of mental "baggage" - whether that be depression OR work stress is going to hold you back. You may not be aware of the mental stress but if you are feeling "numb" then you are on some level.

For the super orgasm to work you need to be genuinely horny and aroused. This means you need to be in touch with your body on a sensual level. As we all have busy stressful lifes we tend to get stuck in our head and lose touch with the sexy sensual nature of our bodies. This means that it takes us longer to tap into the super orgasm when we have a session.

If you are feeling numb just have a break from trying to have pleasure with aneros and just get back in touch with the sensual nature of your body.

Take a few days or a week or more to have long sensual showers - carass your body, love it, get turned on by your own body. Try to spend as much time as possible during the day thinking about your prostate, remembering/imagining the pleasure you got from the aneros before, thinking of sensual and sexual images.

Slow down and become more aware of your body as you go about your daily business.

It will take a little while to get back in touch with your sensuality.

Hell, I'm able to have orgasms without an aneros inside me yet for the last couple of days I've felt "numb" because I've got a lot on at work and I've had to ignore my body and focus on my thoughts and my plans.

I'm starting to wake my prostate and my body up right now but it's taking some time because I'm still stuck slightly in my head.

So, don't worry about it too much - it's just you currently aren't as in touch with your body as you can be. Check out my post on the truth behind rewiring and you'll see how I go about my sessions - that should help you too.

But, don't be disheartened if nothing happens straight away - you aren't going to jump from being stuck in your mind to super in touch with your sensuality in one session. It takes time. Relax and allow whatever is to be to be.

Here is a bit of perspective,it took nearly 10 years for me to make progress, to even feel anything at all.

NEROS: Thanks, i've read your post about rewiring and found it very interesting and useful.
I quited antidepressants a few months ago and thanks god it seems my problems of anxiety are gone, i feel quite relaxed now but as you say, i may need to get back in touch with my own sexuality.
I find this "numbness" i wrote abouyt very strange, i really have no explanation for that: I should become more sensitive as i progress with exercises and self exploring, but what happens is completely opposite. It seems my body get used to different stimulations and lose sensitivity, i don't know... 🙁

INHOPE: 10 years to even feel anything at all sounds insane: Is it all worth the effort???

Desmon: yes it is, though it's taken its toll I must admit

@Desmon yep. I don't know what anti-depressants you have been taking but numbness (particularly emotional) is a common side effect for some of them. After all they do fuck with your neuro-transmitters and your "happy chemicals" so there could be some overload there - particularly on a sexual level.

Again, you've recently come off them - it's a stressful time. There will be anxiety about whether you can cope off the pills etc. You might not feel it but your body could be just making you a bit numb in order to insulate yourself from living in the world without anti-depressants.

Once you realise you are absolutely fine I'm sure you will start "coming back to life".

Unless your nerves are damaged you won't have "lost sensitivity". Can you wank and ejaculate normally and have an orgasm? If yes then sexually you are fine.

90% of an orgasm is mental. Ejaculatory orgasms are more of a physical response thing but prostate and full body orgasms are a virtually mental thing.

It's important you feel sexy, horny, aroused etc. Moaning and groaning during sessions and vocalising - even if you aren't feeling much pleasure will "trick" your brain and body into thinking it is actually feeling sexual pleasure and you will start to feel it.

Vocal noises and groaning are proven to increase arousal and sexual pleasure in both people hearing the groaning and people who are doing it.