• Duds

    Yup, I thought so.
    So my previous entry praised and raved over the great new experiences from Monday night. Turns out they weren't discoveries with a permanent effect. I tried the MGX again tonight primarily to see if what I had uncovered in the previous session can happen again – either voluntarily or involuntarily. Nope.
    It's nothing unusual though – a lot of the time I like to figure out the science of why sensations can and can't happen. It's why I started this blog after all – and why I specifically document great sessions over the norm.
    Back to the topic: from what I can gather, it's being in the right state of mind. I did get nice sensations from this session, make no mistake. There were tingles and jolts that were typically enough to make me consider it great progress back last summer. And they only happened once every session or so. But this time, checking on the former entry's bullet points, almost none of that happened again. Why, I wonder? Surely I knew what to look for now, what areas to focus my mind on? How could these not repeat…?
    Try as they might, it just didn't seem to click like last time. My mind was focused on what was occurring inside the anus – nothing. I sat in the same position as before, nope. I kept my breathing up – zero. Again, nice sensations were there but the problem is they never progressed forward like last time. They just sort of plateaued. Perhaps I'm just not appreciating what I have achieved in rewiring at this stage, and my mind is glutton for new discoveries? It feels like the case, admittedly, so I need to respect what I have.
    Having mentioned state of mind, I'm inclined to believe it may ring home on the old issue of expectation. Indeed, it cannot be a coincidence that my best sessions were when new pleasures arose – but one key aspect, I think, was I just wasn't fussed with Aneros at the time. There wasn't any plan ahead of the day to use it, and I wasn't particularly horny before use. This hasn't always been the case though – sometimes duds still happen, but generally this is the precursor.
    So then maybe there in lies a clue: expectation. It anchors my mind on one place and so I can't be swept off by the currents of pleasure. I WANT to relive the same tingles and excitement from before, but they came because I wasn't thinking about them. I let new ones take their place. (Albeit a lot of the time, they also come because I happened to of experimented or tried something new – but again, I think this is a precursor to that)
    It is that naivety that ends up sweeping me off my feet.
    But what other circumstance was I in last time and before that helped? As roundabout an answer as it is, it may simply be that my body was ready for it. Recalling times of sensing my prostate being massaged – this may be beyond simple mentality. It is luck of the draw and I think this is what keeps me coming back to the Aneros. With all the standard sessions (that I shouldn't call duds, but alas) I'm always confident that I will strike lucky and hit the right time with the right mood. This explains why most of my big progress has been outside of sessions – but at the same time, I know I have come a long way from starting off. Now the Aneros isn't some plastic mold shoved up my ass, feeling like there is crap stuck up there. It generates waves of pleasures I couldn't possibly get without it.
    So again, I should be thankful. Ultimately, I have to just not give a care in the world on what happens or what I want in each session. Just accept what comes and be happy with it.

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