• Day 5 of 3rd attempt

    Was feeling pretty average last night, not a depleted feeling of sexual energy, but not reved up either. I was walking home from gym in evening and thought about having sex later that evening, but couldn’t decide if i was really in the mood for it. Also, I didn’t really want to risk cumming and thought I’d just be safer if I was by myself. Decided to wait till weekend to have sex and did a solo session instead.
    Started with Maximus and got pretty aroused pretty fast. I w as hard most of the session. I used that for about an hour and had a great session with that, pretty strong orgasms. Was also using my hand a little to really slowly stroke my cock. I really paid attention to how slow strokes and relaxing into the orgasm work really well. If I started stroking hard/fast, I could really feel how the ejaculation reflex can come out of nowhere and get close really fast without realizing. It’s like the stroking really fast was causing me to tense up around my groin area and I didn’t have enough time to just relax into the rhythm of an orgasm. I think that is an important lesson I need to remember going forward.
    While using Maximus, I also noticed I was almost talking myself into ejaculating. I had three general ideas going through my head a little bit:
    1 – I thought that it’s only been 4 days, I could just give it up and start again.
    2 – I told myself I’m depriving myself of some pleasure by not ejaculating.
    3 – I also found myself wanting to get as close to the edge (point of no return) because I believed the closer I got the more pleasure I would get.
    I was still cool enough to get some good counter arguments to these:
    1 – I had one of the best sessions in my life when I was at around the day 5 or 6 mark. I’d like to explore how the sessions go the longer I go into SR.
    2 – Ejaculating is pleasurable, but the multiple orgasms are way more pleasurable. Other than the feeling of just “getting off” and being relieved, ejaculating isn’t that much extra pleasurable. That’s a trick my mind was telling me.
    3 – I decided to let the orgasms go and stroke myself slow enough so that I didn’t try to get as close to the PONR as possible. The enjoyment and orgasms were just the same, and I felt more comfortable/safe that I wasn’t going to fail.
    I think it’s that third counter argument I want to remember for these next few days. I’m very capable of having all the enjoyment and pleasure I need without trying to get to the very edge. And I have great control when I have sex and fuck or stroke my cock in a slow controlled manner. Paying attention to how the energy builds up and giving myself enough time and space to be able to move the energy up my body away from cock. If I go too fast, I don’t move the energy as well and get too close to the point of no return.
    It’s now been 5 days since I last ejaculated, and the sexual energy is really building up now. Even when soft and not getting erections, I’m finding myself very horny and wanting to play. In the videos from 21daychallenge.com, the Day 5 video says the dopamine levels are at the biggest low right now. I thought that would mean moody and uninterested in sex, but I feel like I have way more energy and am very interested in sex now. No blue balls or anything bad like that, but feeling pretty full and very aware even just sitting at my desk of my groin area, and where my cock is. I’m soft, but just paying attention to that area and what it feels like is pleasurable.
    Anyways – looking forward to the next few days and soon reaching my previous best of 8 days, which I did on the 1st attempt.
    I ended last night with about 30 min using Eupho Classic. Just mild orgasms and fell asleep with that in. Woke up in the middle of the night, and was rock hard and had one or two orgasms over about a 5 minute period with that in. Then took it out, went pee, and went back to sleep.

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