As I mentioned in my first blog, a huge step for me in this amazing journey was getting over the perceived â€˜gay thingâ€™ of liking my ass played with. Took me twenty years from first sexual experience )masturbating at age twelve( to come clean.
I knew from the first time I really masturbated, there was something about my ass. As cum erupted from my cock for the first time ever, I also vividly remember my ass spasming too with a pleasure radiating from deep within. During those first frantic days of wanting to cum and cum and cum, my ass took a back seat, but it wasn’t long before it beckoned to be explored.
Is it gay? questioning, obstructed my exploration initially. However, when truly deeply aroused during long sessions there was no denying my ass wanted something more. Soon an eraser pencil was scrubbed, Vaseline applied, and tentatively inserted. Ooh! Kind of interesting. Almost immediately I realized there a special spot on the front wall of my ass it feels REAL good to rub against. Of course my teenage cock wouldn’t be ignored and my focus shifted. The resulting orgasm was really intense. Afterwards, the doubts set in again. Dirtiness, Is it gay? nagged at me.
As I tried to go blind as a teenager expanding my masturbatory repertoire, I always found during edging sessions, there was no denying my carnal desire. Any small skinny round object I could find was cleaned, prepped, and in it went as I searched for that magic spot to drive me crazy as my cock erupted. In the shower one day, “Hey, why not a finger? I can clean-up real easy!” It was really awkward figuring out how to get any real insertion, but once figure out it was good. Afterwards, I would marvel at what a great addition it was to JO as I also loathed myself for liking it.
I continued like this for a VERY long time. I hid my true desire from girlfriends, my wife, and myself. I characterized it as Mr. Hyde emerging when I would get super horny and drive me unwittingly into playing with my ass even as I reveled in the results!
Then one day when having a nice co-ed shower session, my wife got extra playful and gave me the shocker. To her surprise, I wasn’t shocked, but moaned deeply as my ass tried to suck her finger in deeper. I begged for more and she started jerking me as she fingered. I gave guidance on how to find my prostate and that’s all she wrote!!
That was my cumming out party and am so glad I came clean with myself and my true carnal desires!!