Woke at 4am feeling a bit turned on. Tried for an orgasm, couldn't do it and fell back to sleep. Woke at 7.30 again and started to let sensations build, again without the aneros. At last I broke through and enjoyed a wonderful pulsing orgasm gripping my pelvis with each wave. I tried my hardest to relax and enjoy it and let it take me. I have real trouble relaxing when in an orgasm I think it's the next thing I have to learn. This time was better than last night but it did fizzle out after only about 5 minutes.
I really feel that I need to practice meditation and learn how to fully relax, I know that there is more pleasure lying in wait for me and I am blocked somewhere.
Went on chat and talked to some other users and was advised I could try leaving it a few days and see if that helped. Didn't work – had a shower and after getting dressed suddenly felt the urge to try for an orgasm so laid on the bed without the aneros. I started to feel an amazing sweet spot come to life in my pelvis, not something I have felt before, it felt really good and started to build, much more intensely than any pre-orgasmic feeling I have had before, and I managed to relax into it totally. I was sure I was just going into an orgasm as my wife walked in which killed everything instantly. I was so close to feeling something new and frustrating that I never experienced what that was going to be. I just hope I can find that feeling again next time.
Tried again in the afternoon and despite relaxing more than ever before I still only managed a very small not very enjoyable mini-orgasm, in fact I couldn't really feel it at all.
I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling very disappointed either it just wasn't working or if I managed an orgasm I couldn't hold it. I was frightened I was going to lose it entirely. I also had a pressure on my upper chest and abdomen making it hard to even stand. I did feel as if I needed a really good release.
The pressure started to build again and I tried again whilst sitting. I got so close for ages but could just not break through to orgasm. A bit later I was sitting again and felt a tingling in my penis, it felt much better than anything before today, I let it grow and within minutes I was riding a potent superO, maybe the best yet partly because it was such a good relief, and partly because I was in control again my mind didn't wander and it didn't 'fizzle out' like a few recently. I felt absolutely great and couldn't stop smiling and the pressure on my chest had gone.
I am learning how to get my orgasms going. A bit of tension helps to build the feeling, relaxing as it peaks helps the orgasm to set in, the tingling in the penis is essential to get an orgasm not just in the chest or pelvis, and carrying on building the orgasm until it is fully there is essential then riding it. I am getting better at breathing properly. I am learning how to keep an orgasm going. And I do better without the aneros, but will keep using it every now and then. It's all good.
Back to work tomorrow.