• An awakening?

    I woke up this morning and noticed that I was abdominal breathing whereas normally I have a very dysfunctional upper chest breathing pattern. I felt quite emotional as if it’s a sign that something is changing.
    Everything is starting to make some sort of sense now. I think that I had a form of Kundalini experience when I had my super-super-O. It was no different to what many people have described experiencing on the forum, but for me it was more profound on an emotional level, and I wasn’t ready for it, or maybe it was given to me for a reason so that I would realise what I needed to do with my life and how I needed to change. It’s all very spiritual and I’m a very logical scientific person but somehow it just seems to make sense and I’m happy with that.
    I am now reading all about Kundalini and learning about meditation. I always thought that meditation was simply about relaxing, and yoga was just about sitting in odd positions and relaxing. There is so much more to it and I wish I had learnt about this years ago. Someone put a link to the blog 'The Accidental Yogi' in the forum and it has opened my eyes totally and explained to me what it is all about. So I am now practicing breathing patterns, and trying to completely change my attitude to life, and already I am experiencing changes. I am starting from basics. I can see where I need to go with my life now.
    It is probably no co-incidence that a few months ago, before any of this started, I resigned from a job that I know is killing me. There are no co-incidences in life. This is all happening for a reason.
    My psychic friend has always told me that I have a gift. I don’t think I have a gift. I think she has been picking up on my deep desire to explore my spiritual side that until now I have not known how to do. I have always been fascinated by out of body experiences, meditation, and spirtuality and felt that there is much more to life than I am experiencing, but never had a clue what do about it. My eyes have been opened now and I am starting to do something I have wanted to do all my life and that feels good.
    I know that I can go back to having more Kundalini experiences but that I must make myself ready for it. I have read about Kechari which is a more extreme form of Kundalini and there is a lot of talk about preparing for it. I was interested to read about what happens if you enter it too early, and that resonates with my experience of entering Kundalini too early )if this is what happened(.
    My Aless sessions have improved. Last night I had a more intense orgasm, still not fully satisfying. It still felt very much as if there was something more trying to break through and I remember that feeling well from my first few orgasms several weeks ago. I also remember when it did break through how good it felt and how I progressed rapidly into some much more satisfying and higher level orgasms, proper super-Os. I’m hoping that I will break through again soon and I’m certain that when I do I will be ready for it and able to integrate it, and I will take it more slowly this time.
    — My wife went out for a few hours this morning and I had a 2 hour session. Got another unsatisfying orgasm, quite intense in its own way but not a super-O. I feel that just a gentle breeze would push me over the edge and the feeling waiting to break through is so intense it's almost cruel. It's like desperately needing to go for a pee but not being able to, after 10 minutes it actually gets almost painful and I can't go on, and have to stop and I'm left feeling very frustrated.
    I think maybe I'm trying too hard again because I feel so close and perhaps I need to take another break. It's got to happen again soon or I will give up.

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